Since the occurrences of the last few weeks, my "personal firewall settings" automatically configured to DENY ALL. Essentially reverting to no unwarranted connections with anyone, total severance from anything that could be a risk.
I feel that I simply am in no way ready at all to allow anyone any level of access whatsoever to myself, as it could lead to harm for everyone involved. Quite simply, any idea of "moving anywhere from where I am" feels too fraught with risk to contemplate.
This has lead to the peculiar problem of perception. No person can truly be an island, they must let *someone* be close to them in some way, lest they become completely detached.
Therefore, I figured "Fuck people, I have research, work, and a cat.". Seriously. Who needs people when they have a wonderful fluffy ball of cuteness that will never judge them or let them down, so long as they give it care and attention?
Seems this will not hold for long. I already start seeing myself growing ever more detached from the world away from work and keyboard, and without something, anything, to do, I find myself completely adrift and at a total loss. I already feel myself growing colder and more dead as a person, becoming nothing more than a fucking drone that accepts data and outputs research.
As a knock on effect, this "chilling" effect has in some ways affected my ability to be creative or imaginative in any real way, which leads to my ideas being less "Inventive" and moreso a rehashing of prior art with a slight twist.
To add a complication, I find that I do not want to be an isolated islet in the world, as I realize the quality of life of such an existance is quite frankly, fucking terrible. Yet I cannot see too well outside, the sea be misty as fuck. Visibility is low, and I cannot allow self to act without a proper amount of foresight and planning.
I sit here, looking around and see "people". People I know, people I consider friends. And I find that I simply see them as representations of data, manifestations of the functions in their minds that process input and fire off output at seemingly random times. Complex algorithms that I cannot be bothered solve.
This lack of motivation is having a seriously fucking murderous effect on everything except my work. I go at assignments and research full speed ahead, yet simpler things like socializing feel like a bit of a chore.
Which is probably why I am not interacting with anyone right now, instead being absorbed completely in writing this and listening to some music.
I suppose I will unplug for a while... Allow some inbound access. Maybe to something harmless like the "webserver" or "Chat service"/
Monday 10 December 2012
Saturday 8 December 2012
The Difference
I rarely, if ever, tell someone to shut the fuck up. I respect the right everyone has to their freedom of speech - fuck, I might end up inside for fighting for it.
However, there are some fucking exceptional cases. For example, pointless bickering.
Seriously. As much as I encourage healthy debate, and ask everyone to question EVERYTHING, I do have to wonder.
What is the point in arguing over the most pointless non-issues ever? Or making claims you cannot substantiate in the first place? Or making accusations, using them as a weapon, and not bothering to check if they were accurate in the first place?
If you are going to accuse someone of something, or make claims about them, at least make sure your facts are, in fact, FACTS, before opening your fucking mouth.
Bullshitting about people, or spreading lies, only serves to dig you a pretty fucking big hole. And unless you are capable of apologising after, you are, essentially, fucked. That tower of lies you try to build will end up collapsing and fucking BURYING you.
That, is why I tell people to shut the fuck up. If you do not know what you are saying is true, do not bother saying it. Words are pretty damn sharp when wielded correctly, but everything you say is a double edged sword. So take care not to slice your nose off to spite your face.
TL;DR: Unless facts 100% verifiable; STFU.
However, there are some fucking exceptional cases. For example, pointless bickering.
Seriously. As much as I encourage healthy debate, and ask everyone to question EVERYTHING, I do have to wonder.
What is the point in arguing over the most pointless non-issues ever? Or making claims you cannot substantiate in the first place? Or making accusations, using them as a weapon, and not bothering to check if they were accurate in the first place?
If you are going to accuse someone of something, or make claims about them, at least make sure your facts are, in fact, FACTS, before opening your fucking mouth.
Bullshitting about people, or spreading lies, only serves to dig you a pretty fucking big hole. And unless you are capable of apologising after, you are, essentially, fucked. That tower of lies you try to build will end up collapsing and fucking BURYING you.
That, is why I tell people to shut the fuck up. If you do not know what you are saying is true, do not bother saying it. Words are pretty damn sharp when wielded correctly, but everything you say is a double edged sword. So take care not to slice your nose off to spite your face.
TL;DR: Unless facts 100% verifiable; STFU.
Pointless Dramatics
So, the last week has seen some absolutely fucking pointless drama. Drama that has been stirring for quite a while, but nontheless is absolutely pointless and is pissing off people, not just myself.
So, I totally understand that humans are humans, and naturally will not get along all the time. As a species, we are fundamentally insane. Lock two of us in a room, and we start figuring out reasons to kill eachother. That's why we invented religion and politics.
Normally people will just comply with the societal norm of STFU and deal with it. Be the bigger person.
However, when one persons absolute dislike of another, despite it being a case of "pot, kettle" per se, is accompanied by their vitriolic hatred and need to expiate the other person from damn near everything, it becomes a problem.
So then it gets complicated. They start trying to involve others in their little drama. At first the others think it is some kind of joke. Perhaps some of the others have a latent dislike of the targeted individual anyway. Within a very short period of time, it becomes something rather unpleasant - an almost religious hatred and discrimination against the individual.
Those who are not swayed to hate, are either targeted immediately for "reeducation", or are treated with some level of hostility. This leads to them getting pissed off with the ridiculousness of the whole situation, and an epic shitload of drama occurring. During which... The cycle repeats.
Now this person is targeted also, however seeing as they were originally an insider, this fragments the group to a degree, to the point where friends feel they must choose sides, and both sides will try convince the general populace (of the group) that they are correct. This leads to complete disintegration of the group, over something that was not even the issue to begin with.
I see this happening at the moment among a group of my friends, a number of pointless wedges being driven between people. Some people have genuine grievances or genuine dislike of eachother, but they coexist peacefully, ignoring one another. However, there is a spark. And someone has gone and decided to douse it with a gallon of petrol...
For those who genuinely mean to be completely neutral, this becomes somewhat akin to walking on a tightrope. While balancing a gallon bucket of nitroglycerin on your nose, and a lit cigar in your mouth. Next to fucking impossible. Compromises must be made, which makes you seem distant to some and slightly untrustworthy to others (see prior post, I dont give a shit if I appear untrustworthy). In general, it becomes a righteous pain in the arse.
What makes me extremely confused is that these are fucking so called adults we are talking about, not a bunch of children. These people should have the maturity to understand that they will not like everyone they meet, and that other people may like the people they dislike.
Which leads to my conclusion. As fx of Phenoelit (one of my heroes) said at his Zeronights keynote speech:
There are 100 types of people you will meet:
00: Asshole
01: Asshole Considered Nice
10: Nice Considered Asshole
11: Nice
The middle ground grey areas make up more than 50% of the people you will ever meet. You will met few truly nice people, and few truly fucking evil people. Most will fall somewhere in the middle, and most of the time, your perception will be completely fucking wrong...
So please do not fucking impose it on everyone else.
// EOR
So, I totally understand that humans are humans, and naturally will not get along all the time. As a species, we are fundamentally insane. Lock two of us in a room, and we start figuring out reasons to kill eachother. That's why we invented religion and politics.
Normally people will just comply with the societal norm of STFU and deal with it. Be the bigger person.
However, when one persons absolute dislike of another, despite it being a case of "pot, kettle" per se, is accompanied by their vitriolic hatred and need to expiate the other person from damn near everything, it becomes a problem.
So then it gets complicated. They start trying to involve others in their little drama. At first the others think it is some kind of joke. Perhaps some of the others have a latent dislike of the targeted individual anyway. Within a very short period of time, it becomes something rather unpleasant - an almost religious hatred and discrimination against the individual.
Those who are not swayed to hate, are either targeted immediately for "reeducation", or are treated with some level of hostility. This leads to them getting pissed off with the ridiculousness of the whole situation, and an epic shitload of drama occurring. During which... The cycle repeats.
Now this person is targeted also, however seeing as they were originally an insider, this fragments the group to a degree, to the point where friends feel they must choose sides, and both sides will try convince the general populace (of the group) that they are correct. This leads to complete disintegration of the group, over something that was not even the issue to begin with.
I see this happening at the moment among a group of my friends, a number of pointless wedges being driven between people. Some people have genuine grievances or genuine dislike of eachother, but they coexist peacefully, ignoring one another. However, there is a spark. And someone has gone and decided to douse it with a gallon of petrol...
For those who genuinely mean to be completely neutral, this becomes somewhat akin to walking on a tightrope. While balancing a gallon bucket of nitroglycerin on your nose, and a lit cigar in your mouth. Next to fucking impossible. Compromises must be made, which makes you seem distant to some and slightly untrustworthy to others (see prior post, I dont give a shit if I appear untrustworthy). In general, it becomes a righteous pain in the arse.
What makes me extremely confused is that these are fucking so called adults we are talking about, not a bunch of children. These people should have the maturity to understand that they will not like everyone they meet, and that other people may like the people they dislike.
Which leads to my conclusion. As fx of Phenoelit (one of my heroes) said at his Zeronights keynote speech:
There are 100 types of people you will meet:
00: Asshole
01: Asshole Considered Nice
10: Nice Considered Asshole
11: Nice
The middle ground grey areas make up more than 50% of the people you will ever meet. You will met few truly nice people, and few truly fucking evil people. Most will fall somewhere in the middle, and most of the time, your perception will be completely fucking wrong...
So please do not fucking impose it on everyone else.
// EOR
Wednesday 5 December 2012
Guide to the Budget in 2013
You are getting completely shafted.
Emigrate.
That is all the advice I have.
// On a more serious note...
Form a co-op with friends! Grow your own tobacco! Brew your own beer!
NOW IS THE TIME TO GET ANGRY (if you are still calm!)
Emigrate.
That is all the advice I have.
// On a more serious note...
Form a co-op with friends! Grow your own tobacco! Brew your own beer!
NOW IS THE TIME TO GET ANGRY (if you are still calm!)
Monday 3 December 2012
Re: Last Post - Priv Escalation
Just a short piece outlining a flaw in the privilege separation/enforcement doctrine I was explaining in my last article.
As said, in "usermode" there is "user" and "root", wherin user has extremely limited privileges as compared to "root". There is also the "middle ground" wherin a user has "sudo" privileges, wherin they can execute some actions as if they were an administrator.
I also outlined how if a "user" once had these privileges, and they were lost, they may still have "hooks" in place (psychological hooks) that allow them unwanted access at a later date.
Now to explain what this "sudo" really is... It is the unfettered trust offered by a close relationship, especially where romance is involved. Wherin one opens oneself up to an unthinkable degree to another person, rendering themselves vulnerable. In essence, the "heart".
The problems this can cause are immense. People who are attracted to someone often allow the person they are attracted to an unwarranted level of trust, in the hope the other person will reciprocate.
This leads to major problems in the event the other person decides to abuse this... Essentially gaining some degree of control over the overardent paramour who wishes for things to work out. Most often seen in abusive or suchlike relationships where one person is abusing the other persons trust to an unimaginable degree, but because they have enough "privileges" to do so, the person being royally fucked over does not see this until it is already too late.
Why do I explain it like so? Well, imagine what happens after a normal relationship splits up. There will be "fragments" left floating around both persons "filesystems", often fragments which are "privileged". These essentially are the psychological hooks left behind after a relationship which makes one want to "try again". Unless the person removes those, they will be incapable of correctly moving on, completely fucking up future relationships.
What the main message here is, no matter how locked down your "Trust No One" shit is, once you let someone in... it is incredibly hard to get rid of them without spending a good amount of time working on it.
As said, in "usermode" there is "user" and "root", wherin user has extremely limited privileges as compared to "root". There is also the "middle ground" wherin a user has "sudo" privileges, wherin they can execute some actions as if they were an administrator.
I also outlined how if a "user" once had these privileges, and they were lost, they may still have "hooks" in place (psychological hooks) that allow them unwanted access at a later date.
Now to explain what this "sudo" really is... It is the unfettered trust offered by a close relationship, especially where romance is involved. Wherin one opens oneself up to an unthinkable degree to another person, rendering themselves vulnerable. In essence, the "heart".
The problems this can cause are immense. People who are attracted to someone often allow the person they are attracted to an unwarranted level of trust, in the hope the other person will reciprocate.
This leads to major problems in the event the other person decides to abuse this... Essentially gaining some degree of control over the overardent paramour who wishes for things to work out. Most often seen in abusive or suchlike relationships where one person is abusing the other persons trust to an unimaginable degree, but because they have enough "privileges" to do so, the person being royally fucked over does not see this until it is already too late.
Why do I explain it like so? Well, imagine what happens after a normal relationship splits up. There will be "fragments" left floating around both persons "filesystems", often fragments which are "privileged". These essentially are the psychological hooks left behind after a relationship which makes one want to "try again". Unless the person removes those, they will be incapable of correctly moving on, completely fucking up future relationships.
What the main message here is, no matter how locked down your "Trust No One" shit is, once you let someone in... it is incredibly hard to get rid of them without spending a good amount of time working on it.
Dropping Privs
People often have thought that I am too bloody paranoid at times, and more than once my inability to trust has lead to things falling apart. Trust, to me, is essentially a massive liability. Trust someone with anything, and you essentially hand them a loaded gun, with your name on every bullet.
I find the best way to treat "Trusting people" is to use the doctrine common to infosec people, that of "Least Privilege". i.e. where everyone is hostile and/or a untrustworthy backstabbing asshole until proven otherwise, and even then, they are treated as if they may well become hostile at any given point in time. This way, I manage to avoid getting completely fucked over... most of the time.
Unfortunately, society conditions us otherwise. As people, we are trained to trust people and tell all. Society as a whole ostracise's those who keep to themselves as paranoid or loners. In general, it is easier to take the risk of trusting too much, than put up with the social stigma associated with not trusting at all.
When we trust someone, they implicitly will begin to trust us. If we do not trust someone, they will instinctively mistrust us. Therefore, those of us who refuse to blindly trust are seen as dangerous individuals with something to hide.
I found that making myself deliberately vulnerable was not a solution to the problem of social ostracism due to my paranoia, so I found a different solution, based on privilege levels in modern operating systems.
In "Ring 3", or "usermode", we have "External" (automatically assumed to be hostile), guest (assumed to be hostile, but granted some privileges such as communication), "user" (granted several privileges, but not trusted with anything important to my survival or wellbeing unless strictly necessary, i.e. associates and friends), and "administrator", or "root", who is given the impression they have complete trust. This is reserved for "myself".
We then have the "Ring 0", or "kernelmode". This level of trust is denied to even myself, and is left to things like autonomous reactions, instinct, and other such survival instincts built in over time. Occasionally this may be overridden by directives from "root", but in Ring 0, at kernelmode, the only thing that matters is keeping myself from going unstable or ending up dead/injured. This is the "Self Preservation" part which enforces the other privilege seperations.
The funny thing is, this level of seperation is actually completely workable within the constraints of the human mind. The higher mind, or upper brain, is known as the "modern brain". It handles emotions, empathy, and other such vulnerable functions. The survival instincts and "base self preservation" is kept in the brain stem, or "old brain". To me, this is where the Ring 0 code is kept, well the fuck away from usermode. Can you imagine the havoc that could be caused by thinking yourself into stopping your own heartbeat?
In the end, this system can fail. If one day a user has "sudo" esque privileges, wherin they have almost unfettered access to certain usermode utilities, and they are dropped to "guest" or other levels, they can still leave "hooks" behind and regain some level of access as they please, if their privs are not dropped correctly. This leads to things like people being able to implant suggestions long after being determined to be hostile, and means that granting anyone any privileges whatsoever, is a major security risk to my own sanity.
TL;DR: The best way to go about things is trusting fucking no one, no matter how segmented you keep things. No matter what, someone will manage to abuse the privs they were granted and screw you over at a later date. Enforcing a strict rule of "least privilege" is the best way to avoid unnecessary fucking about, and at least gives untrusted people the impression they are somewhat trusted, avoiding ostracism from society for breaching the societal norm of trusting people.
I find the best way to treat "Trusting people" is to use the doctrine common to infosec people, that of "Least Privilege". i.e. where everyone is hostile and/or a untrustworthy backstabbing asshole until proven otherwise, and even then, they are treated as if they may well become hostile at any given point in time. This way, I manage to avoid getting completely fucked over... most of the time.
Unfortunately, society conditions us otherwise. As people, we are trained to trust people and tell all. Society as a whole ostracise's those who keep to themselves as paranoid or loners. In general, it is easier to take the risk of trusting too much, than put up with the social stigma associated with not trusting at all.
When we trust someone, they implicitly will begin to trust us. If we do not trust someone, they will instinctively mistrust us. Therefore, those of us who refuse to blindly trust are seen as dangerous individuals with something to hide.
I found that making myself deliberately vulnerable was not a solution to the problem of social ostracism due to my paranoia, so I found a different solution, based on privilege levels in modern operating systems.
In "Ring 3", or "usermode", we have "External" (automatically assumed to be hostile), guest (assumed to be hostile, but granted some privileges such as communication), "user" (granted several privileges, but not trusted with anything important to my survival or wellbeing unless strictly necessary, i.e. associates and friends), and "administrator", or "root", who is given the impression they have complete trust. This is reserved for "myself".
We then have the "Ring 0", or "kernelmode". This level of trust is denied to even myself, and is left to things like autonomous reactions, instinct, and other such survival instincts built in over time. Occasionally this may be overridden by directives from "root", but in Ring 0, at kernelmode, the only thing that matters is keeping myself from going unstable or ending up dead/injured. This is the "Self Preservation" part which enforces the other privilege seperations.
The funny thing is, this level of seperation is actually completely workable within the constraints of the human mind. The higher mind, or upper brain, is known as the "modern brain". It handles emotions, empathy, and other such vulnerable functions. The survival instincts and "base self preservation" is kept in the brain stem, or "old brain". To me, this is where the Ring 0 code is kept, well the fuck away from usermode. Can you imagine the havoc that could be caused by thinking yourself into stopping your own heartbeat?
In the end, this system can fail. If one day a user has "sudo" esque privileges, wherin they have almost unfettered access to certain usermode utilities, and they are dropped to "guest" or other levels, they can still leave "hooks" behind and regain some level of access as they please, if their privs are not dropped correctly. This leads to things like people being able to implant suggestions long after being determined to be hostile, and means that granting anyone any privileges whatsoever, is a major security risk to my own sanity.
TL;DR: The best way to go about things is trusting fucking no one, no matter how segmented you keep things. No matter what, someone will manage to abuse the privs they were granted and screw you over at a later date. Enforcing a strict rule of "least privilege" is the best way to avoid unnecessary fucking about, and at least gives untrusted people the impression they are somewhat trusted, avoiding ostracism from society for breaching the societal norm of trusting people.
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