Just READ THE FUCKING MANUAL!
Ok, this is a looong awaited rant. About idiot users and silly people in general.
So, $(Average Computer User) will often come to me with “How do I do $(Simple Task)”. I will often refer them to the manual, instructions, help documents, FAQ, or, give them an introduction to a magical button known as “F1”, or the “I’m an idiot get me out of here!” button. AKA “HELP”.
For Linux/UNIX users, I instead will refer them to a thing called “man pages”, or, “The Fucking Manual”. Most programs have one. Invoking “man <program name>” brings up the man page, aka, the fucking manual.
Now, I normally tell first time offenders this in a well meaning manner, in the hope they will become independant and learn to solve problems themselves.
Unfortunately, it would appear Homo Sapiens Userus is incapable of doing so.
This, sadly, does not just apply to IT.
In real life, I see people handed things like “Student guidebooks” on Day-1 of college. Documents with maps, instructions, etc. Helpful things, designed to be retard friendly. SO long as said fuckwit can read.
OF course, reading is FAR above the average modern user. Especially the type who needs help figuring out the simplest things, like reading their timetable the right way up.
“Read the bloody manual? Fuck that, I will just annoy you instead!”. The amount of times some dolt asked me for directions to a place he had JUST BEEN SHOWN made me wonder was it OK to commit genocide if it only was wiping out the idiots.
The number of times someone asked me to explain how to do X (normally it was register online, which required nothing more than clicking a few buttons... FAR less work than logging into Facebook or tagging a photo), despite the fucking instructions and the assistants on-hand, was beyond comprehension. I actully felt part of my brain melt and dribble out my left ear due to this.
People often wonder why I always seem to know what I am doing and such. No, it is not because I have repeated the same year of college 3 years running, it is because I have figured out that “the manual” exists for a fucking good reason - for you to read it and stop asking bloody stupid questions.
So. What was the meaning of this post, besides as an excuse to vent? Well. To get a simple message across.
Things have instructions.
Instructions are simple.
You are simple.
Read the fucking instructions.
Follow the fucking instructions.
Now that hard thing is simple.
Much like you.
You just did that thing.
Good for you.
RTFM or GTFO.
* as an aside, for would-be programmers: help(function) in Python, perldoc $modulename in Perl, man (function) in C (UNIX), and the MSDN is a good start to consider... Instead of spamming the ever living fuck out of me every time you cannot work out how to format a print statement!
Ok, this is a looong awaited rant. About idiot users and silly people in general.
So, $(Average Computer User) will often come to me with “How do I do $(Simple Task)”. I will often refer them to the manual, instructions, help documents, FAQ, or, give them an introduction to a magical button known as “F1”, or the “I’m an idiot get me out of here!” button. AKA “HELP”.
For Linux/UNIX users, I instead will refer them to a thing called “man pages”, or, “The Fucking Manual”. Most programs have one. Invoking “man <program name>” brings up the man page, aka, the fucking manual.
Now, I normally tell first time offenders this in a well meaning manner, in the hope they will become independant and learn to solve problems themselves.
Unfortunately, it would appear Homo Sapiens Userus is incapable of doing so.
This, sadly, does not just apply to IT.
In real life, I see people handed things like “Student guidebooks” on Day-1 of college. Documents with maps, instructions, etc. Helpful things, designed to be retard friendly. SO long as said fuckwit can read.
OF course, reading is FAR above the average modern user. Especially the type who needs help figuring out the simplest things, like reading their timetable the right way up.
“Read the bloody manual? Fuck that, I will just annoy you instead!”. The amount of times some dolt asked me for directions to a place he had JUST BEEN SHOWN made me wonder was it OK to commit genocide if it only was wiping out the idiots.
The number of times someone asked me to explain how to do X (normally it was register online, which required nothing more than clicking a few buttons... FAR less work than logging into Facebook or tagging a photo), despite the fucking instructions and the assistants on-hand, was beyond comprehension. I actully felt part of my brain melt and dribble out my left ear due to this.
People often wonder why I always seem to know what I am doing and such. No, it is not because I have repeated the same year of college 3 years running, it is because I have figured out that “the manual” exists for a fucking good reason - for you to read it and stop asking bloody stupid questions.
So. What was the meaning of this post, besides as an excuse to vent? Well. To get a simple message across.
Things have instructions.
Instructions are simple.
You are simple.
Read the fucking instructions.
Follow the fucking instructions.
Now that hard thing is simple.
Much like you.
You just did that thing.
Good for you.
RTFM or GTFO.
* as an aside, for would-be programmers: help(function) in Python, perldoc $modulename in Perl, man (function) in C (UNIX), and the MSDN is a good start to consider... Instead of spamming the ever living fuck out of me every time you cannot work out how to format a print statement!
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