Educating Retards (Fuck Stupid People)

This was going to be a LONG, drawn out rant. It was GOING to piss off a LOT of people.

So I cut it short lest I cause too much butthurt.

First off, by "retard" I mean "Fucking Stupid People", not anything else. I mean TOTALLY FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEINGS who are SO fucking stupid that the term "retard" or "imbecile" is the ONLY term in my vocabulary that does their idiocy justice.

If such a retard is reading this rant (and is already butthurt) they should read on. Their online existance may even be prolonged by what I have to say... If they take heed!

Let's start with a prime example, one I see at LEAST once a week. The average Facebook User!
Here are some of the incredibly silly things they do, which qualifies them for the title "Retard".

"Who needs privacy controls? I have nothing to hide!" (Spelling and grammar corrected).
Well now, dearest retard, let me see... Unless you are a retired cybercriminal whose online movements are monitored 24/7 ANYWAY by law enforcement, and thus hiding is a moot point, (see my later post "On Paranoia", coming soon!), I am certain you DO have something to hide.
Have you ever broken the law on a night out? (no matter how trivial), Cheated on your significant other? Done or said ANYTHING that a current or future employer may not be overly pleased with? Have any enemies? (we all have enemies)
Odds are, there is a photo of it. With you tagged in it.
Or a wall post. With you tagged in it.
Or a comment. With your name linked to it.

Odds are, it is SOMEWHERE on Facebook. With your name proudly displayed next to it. And anyone who wants to find it, CAN and WILL find it.
As an extreme (yet real) example, do you like the idea of someone being able to TRACK your EVERY move a bit creepy? A bit impossible? A bit bloody frightening? Based solely on your misconfigured privacy settings and your facebook page?
Sound like fiction?

It aint. See here for more on that, the aptly named tool "CREEPY". CREEPY GeoLocation

THAT is why you need privacy controls. EVERYONE has something to hide from someone.

The next case is somewhat hilarious. One I see daily.

Apps. Fucking apps. As a legitimate Facebook Application Developer  (WileyLess app!) I get royally fucking pissed off with all the fake applications out there. As a reformed blackhat I *know* how they work, having considered creating some in the past. Shit like "what was my first status" and "photo viewer". Pisses me off, because the ONLY reason they still proliferate is because of the fucking retards who click on them and propegate them.

Sure, call 'em victims, but people *That* fucking stupid should not be let near a computer in the first place. And even worse, when you TELL them they just got pwned they freak the fuck out and start getting all defensive, saying YOU are being an asshole. Sorry ma'am or sir, I was just warning you. I apologise for my vitriolic tone. No. Fuck you. You had been warned. You should have known better. But nope, in your incredible stupidity you went and allowed the thing to not only pwn you, but also spread via your account to your equally idiotic friends, some of whom likely fell victim themselves.

Hence, I will *not* be apologising for my marginally rude manner, you *know* the rules. Dont. Fucking. Click. Shit.

This rant is being cut short. I am sick of these retarded people.
Seriously. I would make a video if I could... Just to demonstrate my anger at them. I would name shame and fucking blame several. But I won't, as I don't feel like it.

Plastic People (Fuck Em!)

You know these people. Plastic people. Less real than a fake fucking Christmas tree. Those people with polymorphic personalities, those metamorphic men and women who are more malleable than modelling clay, more pliable than play-doh.

Synthetic sincerity, laughter never quite reaching their eyes, blending in and fading out, selling themselves with lies. These are the people, who wish to control our lives. They change at the drop of a hat and will stab you right in the back - if it is profitable to their aims.

Regarding their aims, I have yet to understand what exactly they are. Who knows what they really seek. Is it money? Sex? Power? Popularity? I know the theories that they merely wish to sleep around, but it does not "feel" correct. Maybe it is due to their own lack of a sense of identity that they do it.
Fucked if I know.

All I know is how to spot 'em and that they are very dangerous. I do not plan on printing "Your guide to spotting the plastic people!" or anything, so let this just be an advisory. Those motherfuckers are EVERYWHERE. Too capable of blending in, yet also standing out. Too "acceptable" yet also "unique" enough to appear individual. They are not the same as the "Socially Acceptable" or the "Mold Made Man" but they may be mistaken as part of said flock.

So be warned. Your comerades may not be all that they seem...

(btw, my anger at these arseholes is visible in the tag cloud. They are the reason I would be wearing a fucking tinfoil hat by now!)